remember that bitch mirage from the incredibles
you know her face says pussy game hard
my physics teacher told us a joke today
three guys are on a boat and they have four cigarettes, but no lighters or matches or anything to light it with. What do they do?
They throw one cigarette over board and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter
A CIGARETTE LIGHTER
I ACTUALLY GET IT OH MY GOD YES
its been 12 years since shrek came out and im still having trouble coping with the fact that donkey fucked a dragon
When your girlfriend gets into the shower on cold winter mornings, put a clean towel in the dryer. When you hear the water turn off, grab the towel from the dryer and bring it to her. She’ll smile. Guaranteed.
Little things, you guys. Little things.
karlie is a genius
If my boyfriend did that I’d suck his dick so hard he’d swallow his eyeballs.
he’d swallow his eyeballs.
OMFG I AM ABOUT TO PISS MYSELF I WAS JUST WALKING MY DOG AND ONE MY NEIGHBORS PUT UP THIS LIGHT UP CHRISTMAS DINOSAUR AND LOOK AT IT ITS SO MOTHAFUCKIN HAPPY
TO HAVE A MOTHAFUCKIN PRESENT
IN ITS MOTHAFUCKIN DINOSAUR HANDS
OH MY GOD IM GONNA POP A BLOOD VESSEL IM LAUGHING SO HARD
ITS BEEN A YEAR AND THIS STILL MAKES ME LAUGH THEY PUT IT UP AGAIN A FEW DAYS AGO AND I ALMOST SWERVED MY CAR INTO A MAIL BOX BC I WAS DYING